Tuesday, February 21, 2012

First Campaign Challenge.

I am contestant #121 in the first Campaign Challenge by Rachael Harrie's. http://rachaelharrie.blogspot.com.au/2012/02/first-campaigner-challenge-of-my-fourth.html Let me know what you think.

Shadows crept across the wall although the only source of light was steady. Shadows tended to do that in the mansion. They remained mostly in the corners but overstepped their bounds into the light.
Joshua searched beneath the covers on the child’s bed looking for any clues about her disappearance. Sometime during the night, the young Clara had been taken from the safe confines of her bedroom, leaving the mother distraught.
He was no detective but he felt that any attempt to find the girl would only be for show. So he looked everywhere in the room which was comprised of little, a bed and a dresser with little commodities on top. The room was void of clues.
The bulb above dimmed to an orange glow, letting the shadows overtake the room. It was then that he noticed another glow on the floor; several dull lights barely visible were that of footsteps that went beneath the bed.  
Pulling it away from the wall, the footsteps stopped at the base where he noticed the soft glow on the wall. What he had first thought was the fading of paint earlier was the impression of a man with a girl draped in his arms.  The kidnapper walked through walls.

29 comments:

  1. Holy intrigue! Sounds like a great story here. Freaky, but great. Nice work ;)

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    1. Thank you. I'm very glad you liked it. I put my vote for you.

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  2. I agree with Morgan, your story is full of intrigue! Good job!

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  3. ooh very scary!! I wish you'd written more of the story!! I want to know more!! I hope I can read this in a book someday :) Great job!

    I'm entry #19

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    1. I have more written but I haven't done anything with it in a while because I've been preoccupied by other stories of mine. I hope to get back to it soon.
      Thank you for the comment.

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  4. YES! Great job. You left me wanting to read more, which is the goal.

    I'm posting mine up on Thursday!

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  5. Cool! I did not see that coming. Very nice! :)

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  6. Walked through the walls eh? I'm picturing man-like figure passing through four sides at once. Now that would be something!

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  7. Yes. A wall-walking kidnapper would be problematic. I find that concept ingenious. Nice one! :)

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  8. This is creepy!! Nice job!

    I'm #37

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  9. Enjoyed the twist ending :) Well done!

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  10. Very cool ending! I didn't expect that.

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  11. That was definitely a weird twist. So where did they go?


    Lee
    An A to Z Co-Host
    Tossing It Out
    Twitter: @AprilA2Z
    #atozchallenge

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  12. That's quite a trick, walking through walls! Nicely done. Mine is #71

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  13. Okay, a kidnapper that can walk through walls is SCARY. Wonderful job with this!

    We're both in the Fantasy group for the Campaign, I'm just making my rounds to say 'Hi'. Also, my challenge entry is #161 if you're interested :)

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  14. Thanks guys for all the comments. I appreciate them and they are a great encouragement. I'm really glad you guys enjoyed it.

    There's a lot of good flash fiction posted out there and I believe I've looked at everyone's here.

    Its nice to meet you Rebekah and I stopped by at your website. Thought it was really good and a neat twist you did with her execution. I'm not sure if I successively followed you or not.

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  15. So very unexpected! And freakin' cool! Nice job! And thanks for stopping by...

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  16. Very nice, clipped prose and I did not see that twist coming. Walking through walls is a neat trick, but he'd better do something about those giveaway footprints! I would definitely like to know more.

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  17. Yikes. Poor girl. She'll be hard to find. Good story.

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  18. Wow, the end came by surprise. Good story.
    A little creepy - my daughter's name is Clara. :)

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  19. Cool story. :) It reminds me of the old Twilight Zone episode where the little girl was trapped inside the wall. Good Luck in the Challenge. (I'm #199)

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  20. Good stuff! I was going to say Twilight Zone-ish, but Tina beat me to it.

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